My Sweet Deceiver
by foxglove's.fingerhold
Summary: You never lie. That was the one thing…no, perhaps the only thing…that I ever trusted. -Implied SebbyCiel-


You never lie.

That was the one thing…no, perhaps the only thing…that I ever trusted.

From the beginning, I knew nothing about you was real. All that you were was a cover…just a wolf in a lamb's skin. Those gloved hands, gently running over my skin while I rested, could tear me to pieces if they so wished. With no remorse, mercy, or pain, you could throw me to my knees and rip my heart straight from my body. It was terrifying just to be around you-but it thrilled me.

Every second you stood by my side, the feeling grew stronger. You weren't just another pawn in my scheme. I could move you anywhere across the board, eliminate anyone that stood in my way, simply and easily. I had, in my set, a demon-the ultimate chess piece. That kind of power…that kind of control…I would pay any price for.

You were dangerous…even more than the people who I summoned you to take my revenge on. I knew that. Still, you wouldn't ever lie to me. But I guess that was because you didn't need to.

For a long time, I kept thinking in such a way-like everything was just a part of my game. Even you, my most important player, were disposable…nothing more than a puppet to manipulate. I had everything I needed in my hands, and the match was set. But after I began the game, things began going wrong.

I started to notice it when I saw your blood spill for the first time. There was always this impression I had that you were invincible…as if your body was made out of steel. Sharp, sleek, and unbendable-you were just like one another. So when the shot rang and beads of crimson liquid leaked from your skin, the emotions that I hadn't felt since my parent's murder reclaimed their clammy grip on my throat.

My breath had stopped. Why did it feel so terrible…to see you vulnerable like that? Was it fear? Disgust? Pain? And you, a heartless creature, were the one causing me these feelings…I must be losing my mind. Because I already had known that a human's bullets could never kill you. You could just pull them out of your body and return the favor tenfold. But in that moment, as I watched you slowly fall to the ground, I was more alone than I'd ever been before in my life.

It seemed like things only got worse over time. Every little thing you did could bring out a different side of me; anger, frustration, fear, despair, embarrassment, and strangest of all, contentment, wound their way back into my heart. It's pathetic, isn't it, to feel content around the person who was going to devour your soul. But somehow, you managed to make me this way…I guess it's just like the butler of the Phantomhive household.

So when that final day came, the day that I could destroy the one who had killed my parents, I didn't know what to think. I had been anticipating, planning…doing everything I could to come to this. All the bitter feelings I had stewed over for years could finally overflow through you. And as you set me down to watch, bleeding and tired, the truth really hit me. Today was the day I was going to die.

The fight was beautiful; seething with hatred, blows were exchanged. Light pitted against darkness…it was the perfect match. Still, even though your power was so equal, I knew it would turn in your favor. As it did. But before you destroyed him, there were a few words you spoke to me that I will never forget.

Your arm had been torn from your body by the angel's blade, and sharpened feathers dug into your back. Blood was spattered everywhere...so much that you would be dead if not for our contract. No, it is the contract that put you in this pain in the first place. The red stains on my hands were my own fault.

But you slowly bent over me, drawing your lips to my ear. My body froze. I had never been this close to you before...and I could feel the dull beating your heart against my chest. So you are alive, was what I had thought. Then your hauntingly gentle voice brought me back to reality, and what you said shocked me even more. You asked me to close my eyes…so that I would not see this true self you say is so hideous. Why do you think of me, even now, in such a situation? And what am I supposed to say other than yes?

It didn't take long to end the fight. In only ten seconds the angel was dead, and but a few moments more passed when you dove into the water to save me after I had fallen off the bridge. It was…so fast. Because before I could even realize what was happening, I was already laying in a gondola steered by your hand. Floating through fog and murky waters…is this what it's like to row across the river of death? I didn't feel alone nor sad, though my end was approaching me. I wonder, was that because you were there? My killer and savior…

I can't remember how much time passed before we reached the island. It could have been a minute, or a year, and I wouldn't be able to tell. We just…appeared at the shore. And then step after step, you walked with me in your arms, 'till we reached the last place I would ever see. It was greatly worn down, a lot like my heart, but still held a certain peace. I hoped I could believe that was purposeful.

You set me down on a broken stone bench, stepping back to await my final words. I could ask you to tell so many things before I died…I could find so many answers. Yet I felt no need for it. So instead of pleading or weeping over my lost life, all I could do was offer the last of myself to you-and ask that you carve the pain of my life into my soul so that I might be remembered. And your only reply was to rest on one knee, arm drawn across your chest, and follow your master's orders.

I rested my back to the chair, the throne I was finally going to fall from…and returned your soft gaze. You pulled your glove from your hand, slowly coming closer and closer to my form. Yes, this was it…the end. The end of me. Your toes touched the tips of mine as you leaned down, resting your palm on my cheek. Your hand was cold and smooth…just like I thought it would be. What else would you feel like? And as that hand caressed my face, so lightly and carefully, I could feel a twinge of pain in my chest. Don't do this to me now…not when I know it isn't real… Don't pretend to care for me.

Your face was emotionless as it neared my own, and the shudder I had been suppressing swept over my form. It's true…you don't feel anything. My death means nothing to you. I'm just like every other human you've killed. But as your lips brushed against mine, my eyes widened in shock. A burning, sweltering heat swelled from deep inside you, reaching up to the surface of your skin.

And against my mouth you spoke, in a beautiful voice that surely couldn't have belonged to a demon,

'I'm sorry…I lied.'

While a tear dripped down both of our cheeks.

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A/N: This is just my thoughts on how Ciel might have been feeling during the time he spent with his butler. I know that it isn't exactly how the anime ended, but it is how I imagine it would have been if Sebastian actually did love Ciel. I also ask if you are going to critique me that you keep it strictly related to my writing rather than the pairing or my idea of their relationship. But thank you for reading. ^^


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